Our Guest
Tiffany Turner, LMSW
Tiffany is a psychotherapist and elite mindset life coach with 25+ years in mental health. She lives in Michigan and has a passion for helping reframe life and stopping the stigma around mental health. She has two amazing kids; a supportive husband and two dogs.
Infinity Wellness Center & Consulting
Transcript for this episode:
Josh: Hello, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of the Therapist Collective. I’m super excited to have with me today Tiffany Turner. Tiffany is a psychotherapist and elite mindset life coach with 25 plus years in mental health. She lives in Michigan and has a passion for helping reframe life and stopping the stigma around mental health.
She also has two amazing kids, a supportive husband, and two dogs. Welcome Tiffany, glad you’re here today.
Tiffany: Thanks. Thanks for having me. All right.
Josh: So you do a, a practice out of Michigan. Tell me a little bit about just kind of what your focus is there and how you help people.
Tiffany: Yeah. So after years of working in various healthcare fields a colleague of mine decided we’d go out on our own in 2019, just before the pandemic.
started. Perfect timing. Oh, the way the world works. Right. So we have two offices and a handful of therapists that work with us. And my focus has kind of switched throughout the pandemic. Before I was working primarily with youth Up to teen college age. And then throughout the pandemic, because of my history working in hospitals for 17 years it switched to a lot of healthcare providers in athletes because I was a division one college soccer player.
And so, you know, the world kind of just shifted and I adapted with it over time, but we work with a, a variety. We each kind of have our own specialties. And I still work with kids with selective mutism which was kind of a specialty before. So a nice broad range, but really enjoy the work with, you know I call them providers, but therapists, doctors, nurses, you know, all the, the people who take, spend all their time and energy taking care of others.
And then Continue to work and specialize with elite level athletes.
Josh: Wow, that’s great. That’s such important work and a lot of people don’t think about how health care providers, whether they’re mental health care or physical health, how they go through this compassion fatigue. And really it’s so draining, especially surrounding the pandemic.
I mean, I I feel for nurses and, you know, just all the people who are on the front lines there doing. Yeah. So, yeah,
Tiffany: I think the pandemic was the first time. I mean, it was happening before, right? Therapists were getting burned out. And medical providers were getting burned out, but there wasn’t really a way to.
explain it or show it or talk about it. And so the pandemic kind of put that on the table and said, you know, to everybody else, here’s what they’re going through. Which, you know, there, there are a few positives that came out and I think that is one is that people recognize and talk about burnout a lot more and in a more accepting way of it’s not that you can’t handle it.
That life’s throwing a lot at you and anybody can feel burnout.
Josh: Sure, sure. No, I think that’s perfect. And I think one thing that the pandemic really kind of brought to the forefront was just how real you have to be about, you know, what all that does to you, all that stress. And, you know, I, I do feel like the mental health stigma is starting to shift some and, you know, I don’t know if we can say we can thank the pandemic for that, but, you know, in some ways I think it’s
helped.
Tiffany: I do. I think people who, you know, never. thought that they had anxiety or depression or trouble coping and thought like, you know, I’m doing well had their world rocked a little bit, whether it was because of coping skills being taken, but they I saw a lot more empathy for, oh, wow, this is what a panic attack feels like, or oh, wow, this is what anxiety feels like, or this is what it feels like to be depressed.
It’s not, I’m It’s not always the extremes that we see in movies and in other places. And so I’ve seen a lot more empathy and willingness to reach out, which I think is amazing.
Josh: Yeah, that’s great. Well, I want to hear more about toxic comparisons. That’s something that you said that you wanted to talk about.
Before we do that, I want to take a quick break to hear a word from our sponsors, and then we’ll jump right into it. Sounds good. Okay, I’m gonna edit this part out. Our, our internet is a little bit splotchy here at my office. And so if I just freeze, just keep talking. Okay. And, you know, it’s recording your audio separately.
So hopefully we’ll, we’ll be able to do that. But Okay. Okay. So tell me about toxic comparisons and what that means exactly and how you help people with that.
Tiffany: Yeah. So toxic comparison, actually, it’s called comparisonitis, which I didn’t even really know was, I mean, I knew it was a word, but not one that’s Probably because it’s a mouthful used very often, but when, when I, the more athletes I worked with, the more it kind of became clear that they’re, it’s easy to see in athletics of this person is better, faster, stronger, they’re winning more races.
And so there’s this comparison that happens, but, the more social media has kind of opened our world up and communities up. And I’ve joined more and more therapists, collectives and groups and different organizations. What I saw a lot of was Well, I can’t get my practice filled. I see online where people are filling their practice in two weeks or, and so I saw a lot of this toxic, negative attitude about ourselves, right?
As therapists that we weren’t filling our practice. We weren’t good enough. We weren’t specialized enough. We weren’t enough. And so. It kind of just started to hit me how instead of looking at the world and at other therapists as, wow, If they’re doing it, I can do it too. What it tends to be is more of a negative, well, what are they doing that?
I’m not, how are they getting there? How, how come they are full and I’m not full. And so it became this like kind of negative space for a long time. And then I had another group of therapists that I was connected with and they are all about abundance. And, and their whole thing is, is there’s enough. And if everybody is seeing somebody within their specialty, here’s how that looks.
And here’s how we become a network for each other. And as we build each other up, everyone kind of elevates and people get better therapy. People have better businesses much like you’re doing on this podcast of like, here’s the, here’s all the behind the scenes work so that, you know, I didn’t just.
turn on the microphone and have a successful podcast or open up the doors and put a label on it. And I was full. And I, I go back to my own story of, you know, if I were to say, if somebody were to say, how long did it take to fill your practice? I would say, I would be one of those people that said two weeks.
But what, what that doesn’t tell is the story behind it. Right. So I worked in the hospital for 17 years. I developed a behavioral, behavioral health collaborative care management program where we put social workers into primary care offices. So, as I started out on my own, I had a community around me that I had started spent 20 years building. It wasn’t just like I walked out of my house one day and was like, I’m going to start my own therapy practice. So I think looking at people, we see their success or we see their story, but we don’t have where it is now, but we don’t ever look at what’s behind. You know, there are several things that get people there.
What’s their background? What kind of support system do they have? What are their financial circumstances? You know, there are so many little behind the scenes. And so it’s easy to look at somebody and say they’re successful and I’m not, or what are they doing or they’re, they must be doing something.
illegal or wrong or unethical To fill their practice or to do this in this this quickly But we don’t often hear the back story And so I think that that’s the shift that i’m trying to help especially new practice owners, but new therapists say This is a process. This isn’t, this is a growth process that doesn’t end, but also know when you’re surrounding yourself with your community that there, you have to understand that it may have taken them 10 years to get to where they’re at, where they’re building retreats or have an online following that’s sustaining them.
Josh: Yeah, what I’ve noticed is that a lot of people when they first get started, especially when they’re trying to get those postgraduate hours, you know, in order to be fully licensed, there’s a little bit of a scarcity mindset where they’ll, they’ll just take anybody that, you know, comes knocking and. When they, when they fall into that scarcity of mindset, they, it’s easy to fall into that comparisonitis from what I’m understanding because they’re thinking about how, how do I clamor for clients, right?
There’s kind of a desperation behind that and it’s easy to fall into that. That comparison, because you’re thinking, well, if I only did that, or if I did that over there, you know, chasing the shiny objects in order to, to make it happen instead of just really kind of doing the slow, slow grind, not, not like a hustle and grind, but like a slow, okay, I’m just going to dig in.
I’m going to do the work that’s right in front of me and not worry about what other people are doing, but just be really diligent in, in kind of building a solid base.
Tiffany: Yeah, I think building a solid base. But I also think having those conversations instead of looking at somebody and saying, I want to be where they’re at, or I want to do what they’re doing, having the behind the scenes conversations, calling up another therapist that’s out there in the community that’s doing the things and saying, Hey, can I take you to lunch and asking the right questions?
Not what is your referral base? Because anybody can put up a psychology today, right? Right. But if you see somebody doing something well and you want to do that thing rather than they say They have what I want and i’m gonna just clamor and and not share any clients and not share any referrals and not do all you know Kind of keep it home and centered I, I think really asking the questions of gosh, like this is hard and how, you know, do you mind sharing with me like some of the growth process because I’m supporting my family with my income and I am worried about finances if I go out on my own, you know, asking them more vulnerable questions that will lead to the picture.
That got them to where they are instead of just saying They’re there and I want what they want But i’m not willing to put in the work to get there Or the time to understand what it took to got there to get there, you know Like I said, if somebody asks me well, how long did it take to fill your practice?
I’m gonna say a month, couple weeks. If they stop there, because this is one of my passions of helping people understand this and not get into that toxic comparison of what am I doing wrong? I would explain it to them, but not everybody would. And it’s not that they’re, they’re not wanting to help people.
It’s that they’re answering the questions that are asked of them instead of how did you get here? How long did you fill your practice? Well, those are two very, very different questions.
Josh: Sure, sure. So suppose you and I were sitting, you know, at a coffee shop and I was just trying to pick your brain getting started.
And I said, okay, what, what are the questions that I need to be asking to get that valuable information? How do I, how do I get to where once I’m ready to start? Man, I’ve, I’ve got people who are, who are ready to go and they are, they’re eager to work with me.
Tiffany: Yeah. So I think that the first thing I would say is what is your, what is your ideal scenario look like?
Because I’m a big picture drill down kind of person. And if you were to say, I need 30 patients a week, I’m going to be on every insurance panel. I, you know, my second question would be, okay, what help do you have? Because navigating one or two insurance panels versus, you know, 10 is, but a lot of people don’t know that, right?
So I think it would be asking What is realistic if I’m working on my own versus if I’m working with the group? What are the essential things to have? What are the resources? Who are the good communities? It like, there’s a ton of online communities. Some have amazing information. Some do not. Some is a lot is kind of filled with that toxic back and forth of, well, I don’t know why you’re doing this.
Why are you on insurance panels? You should be doing this. And there are some that are much more, inclusive and have that abundance mindset of, Hey, I know somebody who’s looking for bariatric consultation therapist. Does anybody know somebody who does a training for that? I can give them that. I know a person who does that.
So I think there, that’s where I would start is what are the resources that you would recommend having been in this and been successful? What are the things that are the hardest or, or have been the hardest for you? That’s a really different question and you need to ask a bunch of different therapists.
If you ask my partner, she would, she would say insurance, but that’s what she does because I get so frustrated with the insurance companies. That is not my skill set. So I think that asking that question, you know, what’s been the hardest for you? What are the, what are the resources that you use and you refer to?
What are the online groups and what? What could I be doing now to slowly build that? How do I get to my niche? Like I said, mine’s changed over time. And I think before I just kind of got what other people thought I was good at versus now I’m very much settled into what I am good at, but I do understand that that when you’re starting off, there is this, I have to pay the bills.
So anybody who calls you’re like, yes, I can do that. Yes, I can do that. I worked in an emergency room for 12 years, so I feel like I could probably take just about anything, but it’s not where I’m happiest, right? So I think that’s the other part that I would ask them is what kind of patients are you happiest working with?
What fills your bucket so that you can show up to work every day and not get burnt out?
Josh: No, that I don’t know, I just, I feel like it’s really difficult. Knowing at first what you’re really good at, because we don’t, we don’t see what the other people counseling, right? I can guess that, you know, the people that I work with, you know, the other therapists in the little group that I’m a part of, I can guess that they’re good based on what people are saying, but I’ve never actually witnessed any of them providing counseling services.
Right? Yeah. Yeah. So how, how do we, how do we know what we’re good at? I think that part of it is what you’re saying that when we feel happy in what we’re doing, it’s probably because we’re seeing results within our clients. Not because there’s some subjective comparison that’s happening between, you know, what treatment I’m providing and what treatment somebody else is providing.
Cause really we don’t know that.
Tiffany: We don’t. And I think that’s the hard part about getting there. Right. But I, I do think that that supervision time in outpatient therapy having a good supervisor who aligns with where you want to go. Right. Sometimes it’s more costly than other times, but if you can find a supervisor that aligns with where you want to go, and it’s okay if you’re starting off and you know, I met several limited license therapists who They know they want to run their own practice.
There are a group of us therapists who are willing to hire them on with that honesty and say great Let’s make sure you do it in an ethical way Where you can be part of this abundance community and not Throwing out comparisons or negativity to those around you and you can, we can help bring you up.
And so you can work with us. We’ll provide supervision and we’ll also provide the resources and path for you to go out on your own and become part of that community. And I think that is. the shift that I’ve been waiting to see for a long time and love it. And it takes that toxic element out of growing a healthy therapist community that will support each other.
Josh: I love that. And I love that phrase, an abundance community. That just sounds like something that you’d want to be a part of. Yeah. Not because, not because it’s like you know, feasting at a buffet and there’s an abundance of everything, but where you’re not having to worry or, or do the clamoring or compete, you know, with, with your colleagues.
I think that’s, that’s really good. That’s awesome. So what are some of the, what are some of the, the characteristics or components that make an abundance community really healthy in your opinion?
Tiffany: So I think it’s about. Respecting respecting and trusting in the other therapist that you’re connected with in the community that you’re connected with.
And for me, it was, I went to a conference in Hawaii and I mean, obviously the location was amazing, but When you showed up, it was immediately, like, open arms, very welcoming, how can we help? And then over the last two years, as I’ve continued connecting with people, I now have a network of therapists and providers that are all over the country that when I need somebody, like I have two grief specialists.
I reach out to them and say, Hey, who in Michigan is the best at this? And they will immediately put me in touch with somebody. And, and they’re in California and Asheville and all different kinds of places. And, and it’s about when you show up and you say, I’m struggling with this, it is not a shaming response.
It is supportive. How can we help? And I think, especially with the
And communities in the Facebook communities as supported and want to keep that piece for themselves. So, if you’re showing up to an online community and you’re being brave enough to ask a vulnerable question, and you’re not getting support with those answers, and I don’t mean just blind support, like, But you’re, oh, I’m sorry, you’re struggling.
There’s some real human connection that isn’t about pushing you down and lifting them up at the same time. Those are the communities you want to look for. You want to look for the helpers and the, and the doers. And. The people who, I mean, I, I’ve seen posts where somebody said something about like, I’m really struggling with this insurance panel.
And in the immediate response from 20 people was, we’ll just get off insurance panels. Well, that’s right. Not always an option. Like, yes, it is for some people, but for some communities, like I know a therapist, she’s very rural. That’s not an option because she’s one of the only people there and her whole thing is helping people in that community.
And, and because of the economic status and other things, it’s just not an option. So like those would be the places I would stay away from. If you, I highly recommend conferences. as a way to connect but also as a way to understand and get to know people and, and what they’re doing and see it as a path forward, right?
So I always use swimming as an example. If you’re swimming next to somebody and they’re daily at practice, they’re just beating you, beating you, beating you. You go to competitions, they’re beating you. There is a certain mindset of people who will say, They’re just better than me. They’re just better at this.
They’re and they let it go at that. And then there’s other people who will look at it and say, they are successful doing this. I might not have the same path as them. I might have to practice extra during the week. But if they can do it, I can do it. And how do I put that extra effort in to getting to that point?
And and so that person now becomes an ally to me because I I’m seeing them as almost a mentor instead of a competitor. And I think that if we can, if we can find more therapists who can have those communications and conversations, I think that we will be far ahead as a, as a entire. community of therapists, but also as a, as a whole community, because more people will seek out therapy with the right provider because they will be more successful in therapy.
Josh: Yeah. Yeah. And there’s, there’s so many different mindset aspects to this, right? Yeah. And I mean, you, you’ve mentioned kind of the social media groups several times. I’m a part of probably four or five different Therapist Facebook groups, and you can totally see that the ones who kind of well, the ones who go there looking for support, but are met with kind of the shaming type responses.
And then, then the, the therapist who their go to response is, is kind of black and white, overly simplistic, like, well, just do this. And yeah. It’s like, well,
Tiffany: if it was only that easy,
Josh: it was only that easy. But, but it really is, is from a position of, I know better than you. And if only you were like me, you could not be experiencing these problems.
It’s, it’s, it’s totally not empathetic at all. And very, I don’t know, it’s kind of smacks of pride and arrogance to me just a little bit, but, yeah.
Tiffany: And when I read those, I always think, gosh, if this was me starting off, I, I, I don’t like, I would have been terrified, right? Like you’re, you’re never going to make that income.
30 patients a week is too much. You’re never going to sustain that. You’re going to be burned out. Like I, I see those comments all the time. And I always think about the person who is on the other end of that and think, gosh, like what is their situation? And if they need 30 patients, like they, That’s where they at.
And it’s okay to say there’s a, there’s a different way. It’s not better. It’s not worse. It’s a different way. You could charge more, you could do groups, you could do other stuff. But just saying like, get off insurance panels as a response feels so discouraging in a lot of ways. Especially if, if you’re just trying to survive.
Josh: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just in listening to you describe the differences between those, those abundant communities and the, the communities where there’s, there is that comparative mindset, you know, some of the language that you’re using, you know, talking about you could do this versus you should do this with my own clients that I work with whenever they’re, they’re getting caught up in the shoulds.
I just hear shame and more shame and more shame. Yeah. And when they, they just shift their language to, I could do this, now they’ve given themselves choices. They’ve given themselves options and opportunities, rather than feeling like they’ve got to meet some standard. And unless they meet that standard, they’re not good enough, that, that shame creeps in.
Tiffany: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And it’s so easy because of the external societal stuff that comes in about what’s right and wrong and all the other things that as a therapist group, it’s easy even though we live in this world to get caught up in that. And I think it also shows a lot of how burnt out therapists can be.
You know, I think of, you know, the, the therapists who are working at community organizations and they have 50, 60 people a week. For them, 30 is not a lot. For a therapist who might be taking private pay or doing this in a different setting, you know, 15 might be a lot. So I think really understanding that background is so key before we just throw out our own go.
Thank you. biases into the community and online, it’s, it’s better to say, well, where are you coming from? And I know we don’t all have the time and everyone I think is doing it, trying to be helpful in their own way without realizing some of their own stuff they’re putting out there and how that’s affecting those other.
Josh: So I’m, I’m trying to imagine maybe there’s a listener who is realizing that they’re caught up in this comparison toxicity, and maybe this is the first time they’ve ever really become aware of that, right? And so, as they realize, oh my goodness, this is maybe something that’s holding me back. Two questions.
You know, for them. One is, what are the, what are the long term effects of being stuck in this, you know, toxicity? And then, you know, what’s the next move for them?
Tiffany: So, I think that the, the concern for the long term effect is faster burnout. Being discouraged, getting down on yourself getting caught up and connected with it’s funny.
I go back to like, you know, all these old things that the wrong crowd is what immediately comes to my head, but getting caught up not in the right communities of people where the message is the same because it gets normalized. So you know, if you’re in one of those therapist groups that doesn’t have the Abundance mindset that isn’t there being supportive.
It is. easy to think that that is normal. And so what can you do about it? I think if you’re getting those responses that I’m talking about where it feels negative, it feels shaming, look for other communities. There’s tons of amazing ones out there. Look for other communities, talk to people in your network reach out into, you know, the podcast world is a great place.
There’s tons and tons and tons of therapists that are doing podcasts and doing them well. Especially for new therapists, they’re talking to the right people. So listen to who they’re talking to. If you feel like you connect with the podcast. It’s really easy to look at who their guest lists are and go in and check out their communities.
That’s how I found the communities. It’s how I found the conferences that I was at. I think as far as understanding what’s happening to you and having the insight, there’s a upward and downward comparison, right? This person has more than me and I want it. Or I’m never going to get there. And then there’s downward of, I am better than this person, or I’m You know, and that’s where we see that shame piece kind of trickling over for new therapists.
Well, I’m up here and you’re just starting out. And so you should listen to me because, which leaves this person just in a really negative place. So if you’re feeling like, gosh, I don’t feel like I, I have support when I ask a question, I’m too scared to ask a question. I think that’s where you can look at, okay, am I comparing myself and putting these people on a pedestal, pedestal and where.
How are they talking to me? So once you recognize that, you can step back and say, what do I really need? And I think it’s the stepping back and saying, what do I really need from this group, from this person? Why am I attracted to them? What do they have that I want? And that’s an okay question to ask, even though it’s something we’re taught when we’re young, like, Don’t be jealous.
I’m jealous of tons of people because I admire them and I know that they put the work in. So when I say that What do they have that I want? It might be very different than what somebody, than what you, if you were to meet them asks, right? Like for me, it might be their confidence, their calm that will lead.
Once you realize that you have a clear. want from or of that person. Now you can start asking the questions. What did they do to get there? What did their path look like? What did their transition look like? There’s some therapists who, who’s tell their stories really well. And. Help people see that without asking those questions, and it’s a very different feeling when you’re listening to them or reading the stuff that they put out or in their communities online, because their story, you don’t have to dig, they aren’t putting on a front of, this is a Hollywood movie, and I woke up one day and decided to start a practice, now I’m making seven figures, my practice is full, I have 30 therapists, and I sit in Tahiti for the, you know, for the winter months.
Like, as much as that sounds like my, like, amazing dream, right? Like I, my first assumption is they did a ton of work behind the scenes because it’s unlikely that they won the lottery without me being able to know that information. So I think when you, when you realize what you’re wanting or what attracts.
you to them and what you’re admiring about them and where they’re at in their career, their life, things like that. Then you can start asking those, those questions that will help you build a path. What, what are they doing that I’m not doing? How did they get there? How long have they been doing it?
What was their path and what, and then this is really what helps you shift out of toxic comparison is what is different between us? Right? So, I have two amazing kids that are 18 months apart. I had them when I was much later in life due to infertility and several other things. And so, my path both financially and age wise has been impacted by that.
I couldn’t leave my job at a hospital setting even if I would have wanted to at the time because of other healthcare and other things. So, What is different about our settings? I have colleagues who don’t have kids, soccer schedule, all the sports and my desire to put them first isn’t a positive or negative thing.
It’s just my reality. I can’t go on five international conferences a year as much as it breaks my heart to watch everybody else I know doing it. And I always like, my gosh, that would be so nice. to go to Italy and all these places. That’s not an option for me right now. And I’m okay with that. It means missing out.
It means connecting. But it also means I know that I have to figure out other ways to connect and really be selective about the time I’m spending with people because I still want to be part of that community. And I admire all those people. So I just have to put in extra effort. Send out messages every once in a while, connecting, letting them know I’m thinking Hey, this came up the other day.
It doesn’t mean that I can’t be part. It means I can’t go fly with them to Ireland and be part of that conference as much as I want to.
Josh: Yeah, no, that sure. And I think that’s one of the challenges because the more exposure you have to what all is happening out there, the more that temptation sets in. you know, to, to want to have all of that.
So really it sounds like avoiding this toxic comparison partly includes just being patient with yourself and not, not having, you know, too much what’s the word I’m looking for? Not, I mean, just impatience, right? Just, just to get there too quickly. Yeah. And settling into that discouragement from wanting to have it all right now.
Tiffany: And also realizing that you can get there without being at every conference. You can get that information. You don’t have to be part of every single thing to be, to get where you want to go or connect with those people. Because it’s just, You know, and I will say this is another part that came out of the pandemic.
So many people, so many amazing therapists are out there doing virtual conferences. Some are free. I can think of right now off the top of my head there’s three online summits that are free and they’re giving away tons of amazing information with just. key people in this, this growing therapy world who are filled with abundance and, and it’s, yes, there’s opportunities for them to make money and sell their own products and get their notoriety and names out there.
But really why they’re doing it is many of them that I’m connected with are doing it because of this. They want to build a community of Therapists who are supporting each other rather than therapists who are holding other people back and discouraging them so that they can continue to keep themselves in a place where their business is not at risk.
Right. And so I think that those are amazing group scenarios to look at, but you don’t have to be part of everything. And I know that that’s not how society works where we just want to be part of it all. You know, but it’s just, sometimes you have to realize like there’s, there’s the trade off with any hour, any moment of every day.
And so if you say yes to everything, you’re never going to build your business. I literally could be monthly at conferences throughout the world. If I signed up for everyone I saw online, that doesn’t leave me time for. My patients for building my business for working on my business or in my business for that matter.
But it leaves me a great community. There’s a trade off for everything. So you just gotta think through what you really want and be clear about that along the way.
Josh: Yeah. No, I think that’s such great advice. You know, being just having that clarity of where am I headed, you know, how am I getting there?
And, you know, not trying to rush that process. One of the things that my business coach that I have always says is emulate before you innovate. And I like that a lot because it, it helps me to slow down and, you know, avoid chasing those shiny objects when I think, Oh, bullish. If I, you know, I could generate this extra thousand dollars this week by just creating this and it’s like, no, slow down, Josh, right?
This is gonna, you’re gonna have to build up to, you know, being able to offer that and the way that you build up is by. You know, copying what people are doing, borrowing their ideas, having these conversations where you get inspired by them, and it kind of creates that from the ground up, rather than just thinking, we can create this amazing thing all, all at once, and it’s going to be something awesome that results in incredible transformation.
No, we gotta, we gotta get there maybe a little bit slower than I would like. Which is okay.
Tiffany: It’s okay. It’s a shift in mindset, for sure, because I definitely have, you know, I have a huge whiteboard with all of the things and all of the goals, and sometimes I have to remind myself, like, I… I will get there.
I’ll do those things. But, you know, every, every hour that I give up, it’s a trade off. And if I want to do them well, and if I want to emulate, I love that. If I want to emulate the, the people that I’m looking up to in those areas that are doing it well, in my opinion, in the industry. It’s going to have to be done well.
And so I, sometimes that means waiting until I have time to do that, to do it to my standard and to get all the background information so that I can be in a place where I can say, you know, here’s the first effort and here’s how I’m going to continue to adjust over time.
Josh: Yeah. Man, so many good things here.
You know what? One of the things that I was thinking about when you were talking about the, you know, the online summit was, you know, the therapist collective, one of the things that, that we’re, we’re hoping to move towards is having some of those live type events over time. Now, obviously this is just getting started.
It’s only a month or two into this, but just the wealth of information that That people have brought already to the podcasts gives me a lot of hope of being able to offer something like that, where people can just show up to this, this, you know, online location and find a wealth of information that people have just willingly shared.
Right. Yes. That’s amazing. Yeah, building that network of people who are like minded, who are supportive and encouraging, who aren’t gonna, you know, tell you what you should be doing, but just creating opportunities for you, I think is really, really amazing.
Tiffany: Absolutely. You know, I I’ve lived with the advice from my parents for a long time, and I know that they got it from some place, but I’m not sure where I’ve, you know, Surround yourself with people who are smarter, who are where you want to be, and who will challenge you, not yes people.
So that When you bring up a new idea, their first question, their first response isn’t that’s amazing. You should totally do that. Their first response is great. How are you going to do that? Who do you have supporting you? And what do you need from me? Because if you constantly surround yourself with people who are excelling in different areas, you will bring your own specialty to the table and in your own benefit to that group.
But you will also have people who are competent and secure enough in themselves to ask and challenge you questions. And I think that that is where we all excel, right? We all keep moving ourselves forward is by asking those difficult questions. And instead of seeing people as competition. Seeing them as a community.
And, and so I think if, if therapists can get to that point, which is, you know, I think your, your podcast and your collective is, is definitely headed and pushed in that direction. I think that we will just create a much better network, but also community in the greater world, because more people will, will.
Realize that mental health providers are humans and that we we all do different things and it’s It’s not just a one stop shopping that you know There’s tons of different personalities and people that are out there to help
Josh: awesome So is this something that you help other therapists with like regularly is this a like a service that you offer To help move them out of this mindset.
Tiffany: So I do coaching. Which It’s a little bit different than therapy and, and coaching is, is more new to me because of just my own understanding of it, but I do coaching they can go on my website which is teacher and our solutions. com and it talks a little bit about coaching, but it’s one of those things where.
It can be short term or long term. It can be, Hey, I’m, I’m really struggling to get past this. Or it can be more of a business model of how do I get here? What is the background and how do I keep myself from getting trapped in this? Because I’ve been doing therapy for a long time and I feel like I should be here and I’m not or I’m just.
Finding myself burnout and frustrated and I don’t know how to get out of this mindset to get to the place where I can see other people as allies in a community because I feel so isolated and alone right now.
Josh: Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a great opportunity for people if they wanted to reach out and just have somebody that they can ask questions for or that can ask them the right questions to Yeah.
Kind of move towards that next step in their, in their career. So awesome. Well, Tiffany, thank you so much for, for joining me today. This has been great. I feel inspired. Like I’m, I’m going to be checking off those areas of my own private practice where I’m like, okay, this is where that comparison is just really been holding me back.
So anything else, any, any, just like if you have 30 seconds to just, just to give a word of encouragement to therapists who are, who are realizing there’s some shifts they need to make. What words of advice would you have for them?
Tiffany: I think the biggest thing I would say if I had to give somebody a like elevator pitch is If you’re feeling discouraged and negative and withdrawn, check the rooms that you’re in because it might not be you and it might not be your practice or the way you’re doing things.
It might be the community in which you’re surrounding yourself in and the people who you’re having conversations with. And so, do that self check first because I think that’s a great way to find out if, if you’re drowning because of the communities you’re surrounding yourself in that are normalizing that shame and negativity versus the abundance.
Josh: I love it. Check the room. That’s a great. Yep. That’s a great. Absolutely. Very good. We’ll include contact information if you want to follow up with Tiffany or, you know, utilize some of our coaching in the show notes, Tiffany, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope to have you again back as a guest another time soon.
Tiffany: Thank you so much for having me as a pleasure.
All right.