Our Guest
Libby Supan
Libby Supan is a licensed therapist and certified intuitive eating coach, specializing in helping individuals and groups foster a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. With a thriving virtual telehealth private practice, Libby offers comprehensive support to clients worldwide. Her expertise extends to working with individuals of all genders, addressing various concerns such as healing from disordered eating, managing depression and anxiety, and overcoming codependency. Libby’s coaching program is accessible to anyone, regardless of their location, allowing her to reach and assist individuals globally.
Instagram: @foodfreedomwithlibby
TikTok: @foodfreedomwithlibby
Transcript for this episode:
Josh: Hello, hello. Thanks again for joining me for another episode of the Therapist Collective Podcast. I’m super excited here to have with me today Libby Supan, and I’m really interested in what she has to say. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified intuitive Eating Coach, specializing in helping individuals and groups foster a healthy relationship with food and their bodies.
With a thriving virtual telehealth private practice, Libby offers comprehensive support to clients worldwide. Her expertise extends to working with individuals of all genders, addressing various concerns such as healing from disordered eating, managing depression and anxiety, and overcoming codependency.
Libby’s coaching program is accessible to anyone, regardless of their location, allowing her to reach and assist individuals globally. That sounds really exciting. A lot of, a lot of interesting things there. Yeah. Yes.
Libby: Hi, Josh. Thank you so much for having me.
Josh: Thank you so much for being here. So as soon as I, I read your bio, I was super excited.
Just because I have a history of dieting like a lot of people do. And I had, I had actually never heard of a intuitive eating coach, so I had to Google it and I was really intrigued, but now I get to talk to an expert. So tell me just a little bit about what that is exactly.
Libby: Yes. Okay. Well, I’m so excited that you hadn’t heard about it and now you are.
So yeah, so intuitive eating. Is an eating framework that encompasses mind, body and spirit, and it’s really the eating framework that is and and if not should be in all eating disorder treatment, whether that’s, you know, residential treatment or outpatient treatment or anything. And the cool thing about intuitive eating is we were all born intuitive eaters.
So it’s kind of like riding a bike, right? So it’s really relearning how to eat intuitively, which most people. don’t realize that. But yeah, so basically what my kind of role in this is, if you will, is really, I look at it as holding your hand, guiding you through. Relearning how to become an intuitive eater going through all the different principles.
There’s 10 different principles. And yeah, just getting you back to your natural set point. Wait getting you to trust your body again. So you don’t have. So what happens with like, when we get into the dieting world is. We no longer trust ourselves to feed ourselves and when we can’t trust ourselves to feed ourselves, it trickles into almost all areas of our life and we might not be fully consciously aware of it, but it really has an impact on your overall well being and how you live in the world.
So I am very adamant on helping people heal their relationships with food in their body because it has been such a huge impact for me and myself. So, yeah!
Josh: Okay. Wow. I had never thought about the idea of not trusting myself to feed myself. So I can’t, I want to hear more about that. Let’s take a quick break so we can have a word from our sponsors and we’ll jump back into why you do this work.
Okay. So tell me a little bit about your background as, as far as how you got into this and why it’s so important to you.
Libby: Yeah. Okay. So I got into this because I myself struggled with a horrible eating disorder for over 20 years, and I really did not think I was going to make it. And I always promised myself that if I was somebody who actually got better, which I didn’t think was possible, then I would like have to do this and help others do the same thing.
It was just this kind of knowing, and I really didn’t think it was going to happen. So yeah, so I did get better. I finally got like the real help that I needed and I went to graduate school and here I am. So that is why I am so passionate about it.
Josh: That is so great. I know what it’s like. Yeah. So many therapists that I talked to, they offer treatment out of their own story.
Yeah. This whole idea of, of being a wounded healer, right? That, you know, we’ve recovered from things that we deal with and we know the impact of, of growth through that. And we want to extend that to others. So that’s amazing. I’m so thankful that you were able to, to, to work through that and now get to help other people too.
So so, okay. Talk to me more about this idea of trusting myself, trusting myself to feed myself. Right.
Libby: Right. Okay. So here’s kind of, yeah. So here’s kind of what happens. So, you know, when, let’s say you go on your first diet or excuse me, you start restricting food in some way, you’re really giving yourself, your body, the message that your body is no longer trusting of like you, the human, the mind, the brain to feed yourself.
So you’re now going off of, let’s say a keto plan or intermittent fasting. And so I’m now eating according to what’s on this piece of paper by these rules and guidelines, but that doesn’t actually fit with what’s happening inside biologically with my body. So because I’m now focused on adhering to these guidelines of this diet, you know, maybe I’m physically hungry at 12 PM, but nope, I’m not allowed to eat till one.
So because of that, I create these neural pathways in my brain that I just can’t trust myself anymore. And when you think about it, You know, feeding yourself is like a basic human function, kind of like breathing, going to the restroom. So like, if I can’t do one of those basic functionalities, how can I truly trust myself in any other area?
So that’s so often where Like, oftentimes, you know, there’s all these different factors, if you will, that are taken into consideration for the development of an eating disorder. So, oftentimes, people already have codependency under their belt, if you will, in order for the development of the eating disorder.
And then once you start doing that, once you start not trusting your body and adhering to something that doesn’t fit with what’s going on biologically, like I was saying, you’re now even increasing the codependency. So you can’t trust yourself anymore. And then kind of like every other area in your life can get just really uncomfortable, you insecure.
But what I can say is you don’t realize it’s happening when you’re in it, right? Because you can’t.
Josh: So, yeah, that makes sense. No, that made a lot of sense. And so I’m, I’m just trying to think practically, you know, if, if people, you know, let’s just say they eat three times a day and at every point of eating, they’re having to question whether this is the right thing or not.
Right. If they, if they’ve convinced themselves that this is not the right thing, then there’s some sort of like internal betrayal that’s happening where they feel like they’re, they’re misaligned with. You know, what’s true or what, what they need to be doing and then the guilt and the shame and the depression and the anxiety and all that kind of ensues naturally.
Libby: So, right. And then, right. And then what happens is you, the person, me, whoever it is, thinks that they’re the problem, but it’s like, no, you’re never the problem. The diet was the problem on purpose. The diet is created to fail, you know?
Josh: Yeah. Yeah. But so I can see, yeah, I can see how this is a mindset. Yeah.
You know, type of thing, right? Definitely. But at the same time if If that part of me that says, man, I’d really love a cheeseburger right now. Well, maybe the cheeseburger is not the best thing for me. So how do you reconcile that? Yeah. I love that question. To not just eat crap all the time.
Libby: Totally. So the first thing, the first thing is taking labels off of food.
So when you say, when you say crap, you’re giving like. Whatever that type. So I’m assuming you’re talking about like what I like to say is fun foods, right? You’re giving them morality, right? So it’s it all starts with the how you think about it. So you have to first take labels off the food So everything is neutral so it’s really well and and I’m just so glad that you brought this up because so many people think intuitive eating is either the hunger fullness diet or I’m intuitively eating all the fun food my whole life and that’s all I ever eat And of course like we we will all probably Gain weight if that’s how we were to eat.
Okay. So, so the cool thing is when you’re truly intuitive and when you truly allow all things when you don’t judge food anymore, you don’t want all the things all the time. So with intuitive eating like this is how I approach it. So if you know the scenario you just said, so let’s say it’s 7am, and you have a whole workday ahead of you, and you know that hamburgers are your favorite food, they taste so good, but Maybe you don’t feel your best after you eat a hamburger.
Okay, maybe you’re a little bit sluggish. Whatever, you know. No big deal, but you’re not at your best. So at 7 a. m., you’re like, Dang, a hamburger sounds so good for breakfast. Okay, so the two questions you ask yourself is, Okay, I’m thinking about a hamburger. Okay, one, how is that going to taste? And your answer is that’s going to taste delicious, right?
Two, how is that going to feel in my body? And then you get to ask yourself, okay, how’s that going to feel like, yeah, it’s probably not going to serve me that well right now. I’m probably going to feel a little bit sluggish. So I now get to make the choice. Do I want to honor more my cravings or my physical body?
And it’s totally okay to do either one, but I get to make that decision. And so what I would encourage the person to do is, Hey, why don’t we like do both? So you’re not going to restrict the hamburger, but just eat it at a later time today when it doesn’t matter if you feel sluggish or not. Okay.
Josh: So, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So, you remove that, that guilt piece, while at the same time empowering yourself over those choices without feeling like you’re betraying some sort of internal code that says I shouldn’t. Right. Yeah. Right.
Libby: Right. Because when we eat the thing we say we shouldn’t. It’s like you may as well not eat it at all because you’re not even enjoying it and you’re creating this kind of association in your brain that is how you’re, you’re putting it on a pedestal, you know, when you put it on the pedestal, you become obsessed.
Josh: Yeah, that’s that’s a very different way of approaching how you eat, right? Yeah, and and a lot of people do it I mean a lot of people eat haphazardly right or they’re not putting that much thought into it but then other people get caught up in that that cycle of overthinking in a way Yeah, absolutely.
Okay. So, you know, this, this podcast is for therapists, right? And so always looking at the connection between mental health and things like this. So, so how, how do you notice kind of long term impacts of, of, of that way of thinking about food? How does that benefit mental health to, to take an intuitive eating approach?
Libby: Yeah, well, you know, what I can say is it’s really, it’s, it’s all about self care. It’s a way of living in the world where you are caring for yourself. In a way that honors your true whole, like holistic being, and it also, it’s not just about, it’s, it’s really hard to explain intuitive eating because there, it is so intricate and there are, it is, it is so multifaceted or whatever, but it’s also a way to just live in body acceptance and let go of just the diet culture, the diet mentality, all of the fat phobia, the weight bias, whatever it is.
And it just makes everything so much simpler, which as far as, you know, correlating it to what you said about like mental health, like, yeah, it absolutely. I mean, most every single person I’ve worked with once they’re like reached, you know, intuitive eating, if you will, their anxiety, their depression, their perfectionism, their codependency all decreases.
Josh: So when you’re treating somebody is, do you work like exclusively with people that are wanting help with this or do you treat other, other types of issues and then this gets factored into it or it plays a part.
Libby: Yeah both, but mostly people initially see me for their issues with food or their body.
Gotcha. Most all of my clients, that’s how, or why they came to see me initially. But yeah, absolutely. I definitely still have clients that really don’t have any food issues or they might have food issues, but we don’t uncover it. Yeah.
Josh: Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. I wasn’t, wasn’t sure if, I mean, I know a lot of people kind of have their go to explanations for things, right?
For a while I was on this big sleeping kick, like, you know, I want to make sure that you’re getting all the rest you need and maybe that’s kind of a root of a lot of the problems. If you just need to, if you just took a nap, if you took a nap, things would be better. Maybe that’s. Just how I feel. That would be awesome.
Yeah. Sleep is super crucial. Sure. Absolutely. And so seeing, seeing other just mental health related issues through this lens of, you know, our is, how’s the eating, how’s the sleeping, right? We don’t want to just jump to like other pathological types of explanations. So, Yeah. So tell me a little bit about your coaching program.
I’m curious about that. What does that look like? Yeah.
Libby: Yeah. It’s super exciting. So it’s new. It’s newer. So right now I have a six month program and there’s two different options for it. So with it. The platinum program, you can work with me. Once a week you, we have 30 minute zoom calls and then the other option is just two 30 minute zoom calls a month.
So every other week. And the cool thing about the coaching program and what I really think is the biggest difference between, you know, the coaching and therapy is how we get to do our work. So with therapy, it’s sessions, right? And that’s it. I mean, some emails back and forth or, you know, text messages if needed, but that’s, that’s basically it for therapy.
But with coaching, it’s kind of it’s different. So what I do is we have our sessions and then in between sessions, I use a app it’s called boxer and it’s basically just like a walkie talkie. So we just leave voice messages back and forth. You can leave like a video if you wanted or images or anything like that, but it’s basically just voice messaging.
And so it’s really like, truly, I’m kind of in your back pocket as you’re navigating, going through this. How to relearn how to be an intuitive eater and it’s real life and you know, I’m in there with you kind of thing. And yeah, and so basically, so that’s kind of the, how we do the work together and it’s really walking you through all the steps of intuitive eating, but each client is different.
So like you might start on principle one and Sally might start on principle 10, but yeah. And at some point. In the very near future. I’m going to turn it into a group program, which I’m very excited about. I think it’ll be so much more impactful.
Josh: Yeah. Okay. So if, if one of your clients is, is part of your program, you know, they, they just get done eating a meal and they’re checking in with themselves and they get on the app and they’re like, Hey, trying to make sense of this.
This is what I’m feeling. Yeah. They just kind of tell you about that. And then you get back with them at, you know, when you, when it’s convenient for you, or, you know, when you check, you just jump on real quick. Okay. Absolutely.
Libby: And I’ll just kind of inquire like, all right. So, you know, did you have a question about that or tell me more, or what was that like?
How was that different from yesterday? What we talked about?
Josh: That’s really, really cool. Yeah. I kind of love it. Yeah. It’s like a really neat approach to just ongoing treatment rather than, all right, we’ll wait, wait till your hour next week. Right. And we’ll talk about it then I can see how that would be really beneficial.
Very cool. Yeah. So do you do trainings for other therapies? This or individuals who are interested in, in taking this approach as well.
Libby: I, I mean, I don’t have anything in place, but I absolutely have helped and trained. I actually have been a trainer at different treatment centers for other therapists, but absolutely.
I offered training to, I did a presentation for the boys and girls club staff a while back. And I did offer training for their staff to learn more about eating disorders, but absolutely. I am very much into that.
Josh: Yeah, I would love to do that. So, you know, I’m just trying to think on behalf of the listeners who Who I think, okay, how do, how does this get incorporated without me having to do such a deep dive, like, is there a way, is there a way to get people thinking about this or would this need to be like an, like an additional you know, in addition to the counseling that they’re providing?
Will they need to see an intuitive eating coach? Or is there, is there a way for them to incorporate it in without it? I mean, it sounds like you’ve gone through a lot of training to arrive at where you’re at, but how can, how can just the average therapist start thinking with this lens and, and you know, what would you recommend they do if they wanted to equip themselves for it?
Yeah.
Libby: So here’s what I would suggest. So depending on, you know, if you’re a person that is struggling with food or your body disordered eating, if that’s you, I would absolutely seek help from a provider. I think that is going to be like the most beneficial and probably quickest way to get you there and least painful.
And if not, if you’re just. what I like to call normies, you know, people that have never had disordered eating. So intuitive eating, I would start with the book. So it’s by Evelyn Tripoli and Elise Rush. They’re the two authors of intuitive eating. So there is a book, you can get it on audio book. You could even get it from the Libby library app, which is for free.
And I know it’s my name, which is weird, but anyways I also, if so, if anyone’s listening and you would like. Me to send you a podcast episode where Evelyn Tripoli, one of the authors is on, I think it’s Dan Harris’s podcast to earn 10% happier is what it’s called. Anyways, I’m more than happy to send you that episode.
That’s the episode I will send most anyone that says like, what is intuitive eating? So it’s a really good episode to explain what it is. So I would start with the book. There’s also an intuitive eating workbook. So get the book, get the workbook, do them at the same time, and also reach out to me and I will email you the episode of the intuitive eating where it gives a good explanation, but that’s where I would start.
Josh: Gotcha. And that’s for somebody who, do it themselves. Okay. Yep. And then you’ll know what it is. Gotcha. And, and that’s not just for people who are struggling with this. You think that this is something that everybody gets to benefit from.
Libby: Totally. Okay. But the, the other thing that’s interesting is. Truly, if you’ve never had a problem with food, if you, if everything is just so, and you’ve never been tripped up by diet culture, You most likely are an intuitive eater.
Josh: Okay, so you’d be realizing the, like, what you’re already doing and why it’s working so well.
Libby: For instance, my dad. He’s always been an intuitive eater. He’s never not. He’s never, like, just, anyways. So when I talk about this with him, he just looks at me like I’m nuts. Well, yeah, why, of course you do that. And I’m like, yeah, dad, well, not everyone, not everyone knows that.
Josh: Why do you need to train people how to do something? That’s so natural. Everybody should be able to, yeah. Well, maybe, maybe some people just need that, that pat on the back to say, okay, well, I’m glad I’ve been doing something good.
Libby: Right. But I think it’s good regard. So even if you are like already a natural intuitive eater, but you don’t even really even know what that is.
I would do it anyways, because it’s only going to help. you and everyone you work with.
Josh: Okay. Okay. That’s a good, good place to start. So, you know, I, just as you were sharing with me about the kind of the method behind intuitive eating, one of the things that I was really really wondering is, you know, where you find people pushing back against it, you know, where’s the resistance when people hear this idea, where do they get stuck?
Libby: I will tell you, it’s most of the diet culture people. It’s most of the weight loss people. The people that are out there promoting weight loss, their coaches, their dieticians, their nutritionists, some of them are therapists, and they’re causing a lot of harm because when you’re promoting intentional weight loss, oftentimes, it is a form of disordered eating.
So now I forgot. I forgot your question. What was the question?
Josh: So, so the question was when, when there’s pushback or when people are resistant on hearing this, where does that come in?
Libby: Okay. So I’ll give, yeah. So social media, first of all, let me just say that. So you’ll have either the creators. So let’s say a coach who’s selling weight loss, get really mad.
Like how dare you try to tell people they can eat whatever they want. You’re going to cause diabetes. Things like that, or just people. So let’s say the potential client, if you will, I started doing lives on tech talk. So like almost every day I’m doing just a Q and a for food and body stuff. Cool. And people get so angry with me.
You’re caught like you’re causing harm. How dare you? You’re telling people to eat doughnuts. You’re going to, like I said, you’re going to cause diabetes. And then they just try so hard to prove that like the keto or the this diet or that this is what works. And I’m this much weight and I need to get to this much weight.
Just it’s all fat phobia. It’s all phobia.
Josh: And so somebody who says, okay, I kind of like this idea. But I’m, I’m struggling to get over the fact that I’ve been told all my life not to eat donuts, or that you can, but it’s just not good for you.
Those are some significant hurdles to overcome.
Libby: Yeah, absolutely. It’s a lot, a lot of unlearning and relearning. So kind of how I look at it, and this is with not just intuitive eating, but eating disorders too. So this is how I see it. So we all start with like these brains, right? Which are these sponges and some of our sponges because of like genetic stuff or blueprint stuff, biological, we have certain factors that are going to make some of our sponges more susceptible to diet culture messages.
So we’re all given the same messages from diet culture. But some of us, because of some reasons, like, you know, for myself, I grew up in a dieting. So it was either, or like mom’s on a diet or mom’s not on a diet, like very black and white. So like, that was just one of the like little factors in my sponge.
So I was a person that really like held on to these messages I received from diet culture. And what happens is when you get these messages, because they’re coming like from everywhere, all the time, your whole life, we don’t know what’s happening. Our brains don’t know to question it. It just is, and we just end up thinking it, and then we end up believing it, but they’re mostly false and not factual, and so we’re kind of walking around in the world, like, living with these false pretenses, and then acting in them, too.
So, acting would be, oh, I don’t let myself eat past 9 p. m., because they say that’s going to make me fat. So, once you step into the, oh my gosh, I am so disordered, I’m only binging or restricting, I can’t stop gaining weight. Where do I begin? So the place to begin is first of all, we’ve got to get you to eat consistently.
So throughout the day, three to six times a day, your body has got to trust you again. So that’s the place to start like physically and medically, if you will. And at the same time we do the brain, the brain part. So it’s kind of like, I think of it like, okay, we’re going to open up your brain. We’re going to lay it all out in front of us.
We’re going to debunk every single one of these thoughts and beliefs. We’re going to find out what’s true, and we’re just going to, like, consistently, like, remind our brains of what’s the right message, what’s the right message, what’s the right message to unlearn and relearn. And it’s very habitual.
Josh: Yeah.
Yeah. So at some point, I mean, and this may be part of the, the 10 principles that you were referring to earlier. I mean, at some point you’ve got to make decisions about what is going to, what you’re going to take in. Right. Sure. Yeah. Because, because if you are just eating all of the fun foods all the time, like you were saying, that’s going to feel a certain way.
And so, yeah, it’s not fun. Right. And so there’s a decision making point, you know, at some point that’s based off of how it makes you feel or. And do you find that that decision making point when you’re really doing this well is going to lead towards the healthier foods that are more balanced? Is that kind of how that works?
Libby: I mean, not for everyone, but yes, that’s the idea. And that’s generally how it works. So, you know, I can give you an example just for myself. Yeah. So back when I was disordered. I forced myself to eat so many gross things. Well, I should say I thought they were gross. They were very diety. I only allowed myself to eat vegetables that were raw, like nothing on them, no oil.
They weren’t cooked, just raw vegetables. So then when I like started doing this intuitive eating thing, I didn’t know what I liked. And I hated vegetables because they tasted disgusting. And then I realized, wait a second, you can actually use oil in vegetables? Say what? So today, like so much more often, I crave salads, Brussels sprouts, vegetables over like ice cream and cookies because it tastes so good and it feels so good.
I still eat the ice cream and the cookies, but it’s just, it’s hard to explain how it works. Unless you are doing it or have done it, it’s just kind of like a shift that happens organically with time and it’s not right away.
Josh: Yeah. And so, so getting people to say, all right, I’m in because down the road, I know that this is going to feel right.
And getting into those habits, like you say, is a big part of that process. And so eventually, eventually they kind of just realize, Hey, I’m, I’m in this now. I’m, this is, this is a working way for me to, to go about eating because they’ve built that habit. Okay.
Libby: Right. And yeah. And the other cool thing about intuitive eating is once you’ve been doing it for a while, you don’t think about it.
It just is. It’s just natural like breathing. Yeah, that is the most exciting part about it because living and diet culture You always thinking about it, right?
Josh: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Well that sounds really interesting Yeah You know I’m, I’m kind of thinking of, I mean, I’ve got a few particular clients in mind that, that have been on that struggle bus, and I’m just trying to imagine what, what they might say and how a therapist would, would help them into, you know, being convinced that.
Okay. This is a worthwhile endeavor, right? So first steps being, you know, take a look at the book, you know, maybe look at the, the workbook reaching out to, to you, if they want some individual coaching and then once, once it’s working and they’re, they’re kind of in, I don’t know if you’d call it maintenance, like they’re just kind of in it.
Yeah. Is it something that just kind of carries on or do do you recommend people? You know, come back to like checking in, like, what does that look like long term?
Libby: Yeah, long term, like typically speaking, once you’re an intuitive eater, you, you are, and you’re good, good to go, you know, but sometimes like if you come from an eating disorder background or like heavily disordered eating, sometimes things happen in life and you have, I cannot stand the word relapse, but you have like a sidestep.
Or a slip and you kind of get back into old habits and old thinking. And so you just kind of need like a refresher and that happens a lot, just not even with a client that’s discharged and come back. But just in our regular therapy, you know, like. Let’s say, you know, you’re Sally and we’re in session and you’ve been doing so great for a month, you know, you’ve been allowing all the foods, you haven’t had a binge, you haven’t been restricting, and then you show up after a month of doing that and you’re just so distraught because you went to a wedding and you ended up just like.
You know, kind of gorging food at the buffet table, if you will. And you’re so upset, but here’s what I get to say. Well, guess what? This was your first time being at a buffet table with intuitive eating. Like you’ve got to give yourself a break, you know? And so the next time you’ll know how to do it differently.
And it’s just a sidestep. But yeah, most people that like achieve, if you will, intuitive eating and they haven’t had an eating disorder background, you’re usually good to go for the rest of your life. Yeah.
Josh: Okay. There’s a lot that I’m, a lot that I’m processing here.
Libby: I know. And I, I’m curious what you think about it personally, what I think about it personally.
Josh: So my own, my own story is, is one of lots of dieting. Like I’m, I’m overweight for sure. And I think that I’m, I’m kind of past the, the shame associated with that. I, you know, I feel, you know, positive about my body, you know, obviously there’s, there’s ways that my, yeah. My health impacts me on a day to day basis.
And so as far as a motivation is concerned, you know, that that’s kind of it for me. It’s not, it’s not that I, you know, don’t have, you know, the, the beach body or anything like that. It’s, it’s more the feeling sluggish where, you know, not wanting to get on the ground, you know, to play cars with my eight year old, you know, that, that sort of thing.
And so this idea of you know, Excuse me. Just being a little bit more compassionate towards what my body is telling me. Yeah. I, I like that a lot. I think the, the question for me, just as I’m, you know, if I were considering, do I, do I dive into this or not? Would be like, I don’t necessarily wanna check those motivations at the door.
Right. So how to which motivations? So the motivation to you know, I mean, I, I guess there’s part of me that does like the idea of looking fit. Sure, of course. That’s, that’s not a bad motivation. Although, you know, I even coming to acceptance of, of yourself, you can still have that desire to, of course.
I don’t know that you’re, I don’t think that you would be suggesting to check the motivation to be able to get down on the floor with play with your kids, you know, at the door. But that’s, that’s kind of part of it, is that there’s there mm-hmm. in, just in hearing it, there’s these, these parts, it’s like, Yeah, I, I like the idea of being able to do these things and what happens to, to all of that.
Yeah. If I’m, if I’m just like, okay, the donut’s fine or.
Libby: Yep. I’m so glad you said that. So the, yeah. So with intuitive eating, most people that start have a desire to lose weight or look fit or whatever you call it, look in shape, you know, and that’s fine. Like, of course you have that desire. I did too.
That’s why we’re all here in this place. Right? And so the only thing you have to be willing to do is to take weight loss off the table for now. You can still think about it, but you can’t act on it. That’s the one thing you can’t do with intuitive eating. You can’t intentionally be working on weight loss and also tried to relearn how to eat intuitively.
It just, it doesn’t go together, but you can absolutely have the desire because that for some people may never go away, you know,
Josh: so is it, is it that there’s some magic number that once I’ve reached that particular weight, I’ve, I’ve tricked myself into thinking that that’s the goal. Like that’s the.
That’s what I need to arrive at in order to feel better. Is that, is that part of it?
Libby: Yeah. Well, I mean, I wish it was like that because that to me would seem so much more like simple. Like a math equation, but no, it’s because every single person in every body is so different and individual. So like my set point is my set point.
Yours is yours and yours might be yours or mine or anyone’s set point might also not be our original natural set point because of all the harm we’ve done over the years dieting. So with intuitive eating, it brings you to your set point and your set point is where your body feels it’s most comfortable and your body wants to keep you there.
It will fight tooth and nail to keep you at your set point.
Josh: And so if for, you know, if, if, if people like me who have, have, I say always, like I didn’t come out of the womb, like struggling with weight loss. But you know, junior high is probably when I started to gain a lot of weight and there were some bad habits there.
So, you know, I don’t, I don’t know that I’ve ever been at my set point as a fully developed adult. Sure. Right. And so, you know, I don’t even know what that would be like, like trying to imagine what it would feel like. Yeah. That’s just kind of, kind of foreign. And I’m sure I’m not alone.
Libby: Yeah. No, you’re absolutely not.
I mean, people question. Well, first of all, most people don’t even know what, you know, I’ve never heard of that point, but yeah, a lot of people question like, well, what’s mine? How can I get mine? And how can I make mine lower? You can’t intentionally make it lower.
Josh: Okay. So that’s part of the mindset too, is thinking that my set point needs to be, you know, in, in Wonderland, you know, sub 200 as an adult male or, you know, whatever it is that that’s the type of thinking that needs to be abandoned.
Yeah. Yeah.
Libby: And I like to, you know, to really simplify it for people that. It’s like, they’re so in it because they’re so obsessed with wanting to lose weight that it’s like they can’t hear what I’m saying. And so a way I can explain it is think about it seriously, like going to the bathroom or breathing, like you don’t question yourself when you have to breathe air, you don’t think about it.
Right. But I guarantee if you started For some reason, it was now a world knowing that it’s like, you’re so, you’re so much less than if you need more air, I shouldn’t, I can’t, okay, I need to hold my breath, hold my breath, I guarantee you’re going to become obsessed with holding your breath, not holding your breath, holding your breath, not holding, when am I going to get more air, when, I’m not supposed to breathe, do you know what I mean, so it’s like we could do this, I think, with anything, but because of the society we live in, the fat phobia, the Hollywood, the celebrity, you know, That’s why we’re here, right?
Josh: Okay. So for it to become so natural as being able to tell, okay, I need to go use the restroom. There’s, there’s probably these individual moments where you have to kind of come back to what your, what your goal is with intuitive eating like that. Am I really hungry? Am I not really hungry? How do I feel about this?
While at the same time, kind of Checking some of that stinking thinking for lack of a better word, you know, yeah, the door.
Libby: Yep. And another example I can give you, you just said something that made me think of it is okay so let’s so this is another example of intuitive eating and why it’s not just the hunger fullness diet.
So let’s say I have to go into a meeting. And right now it’s 10 a. m. and I’m out of the meeting at 1 p. m., but in this meeting you’re not allowed to eat. And right now I am not physically hungry, but I know myself and I know by 1 p. m. I’m going to be ravenous. And I know when I get ravenous, I’m probably going to over consume, over eat, or binge eat.
Then I’m going to feel real bad. Then I might restrict my next meal and then I can start this whole cycle. So because of all of this, I’m going to take care of myself and I’m going to eat now before my 10 a. m. meeting, even though I’m not physically hungry, because that is going to serve me better. Then leaving the meeting ravenous and having a possible binge, you know?
Josh: Gotcha. Yeah. So there’s a little bit of planning and just kind of definitely knowing those, those rhythms of your day. And
Libby: right. It’s kind of like seriously being your own nurturing parent in a way of like treating yourself with so much love and compassion for your body and, and how to feed yourself.
Josh: Yeah, no, I love that. I mean, obviously, as a therapist, you know, we deal with a lot of people who have very harsh meta emotions and meta cognitions about themselves. And so learning how to respond more compassionately towards those parts that are showing up with guilt and shame, you know, it’s no wonder that Because eating is such an integral part of our life, like every single day that it can create so many, so many issues for so many people.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. This has given me a lot to think about just personally. I’m so glad. Yeah. Also professionally. I’m, you know, I’m, I’m excited to. To just kind of at first, just have an ear for, for how this might show up and how this could help people. So if people wanted to get in touch with you to hear more, what’s the best way for them to do that?
Libby: Yes. Well, you can email me Libby at LibbySupan. com. You can also reach me through my website, which is just LibbySoupan. com. And most of my social media handles are all foodfreedomwithlibby. So I have TikTok and Instagram are the biggest ones I have, so. Email, website, social media. Yeah. And I, please, if you’re listening to this and you have any interest in intuitive meeting or have any questions, please reach out and just let me know.
Even if you don’t have a question and I don’t know, I just, I want, I want to continue to increase this community of like the anti diet culture space and just make it inclusive for everybody. And I would love to get to know anyone who’s interested. So please reach out and say hello.
Josh: That sounds amazing.
And I’m gonna link to all of the email and social media and your website and the show notes. So if you’re interested you know, don’t hesitate to reach out to Libby. It sounds like there’s a lot of exciting things and I’m, I’m kind of excited to follow you and see what, what you have coming up and where this goes for you as, as a thank you as therapist.
Yeah. So best of luck to, I’m super excited too as you continue on. Thanks so much for joining me today. Thank you, Josh. I had a really good time. Alright.