Our Guest
Daniel Gospodarek
Daniel is a LCSW who works in an inpatient psychiatric hospital as well as in private practice. He lives and works in Denver, CO. In 2009 he suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) from an auto accident. He needed to have brain surgery and spent 17 days in the hospital along with 3 months of outpatient physical therapy and 17 months of speech therapy. This directed him towards the helping professions and then he found social work. His speciality areas in private practice are mental health, trauma/PTSD, and Traumatic Brain Injuries.
www.revitalizementalhealth.com
Instagram: @revitalizementalhealth
Transcript for this episode:
Josh: Hello and thanks for joining us today on the Therapist Collective podcast. I’m really excited to have Daniel with me. Daniel is an LCSW who works in an inpatient psychiatric hospital as well as in private practice. He lives and works in Denver, Colorado. In 2009, he suffered a traumatic brain injury from an auto accident.
He needed to have brain surgery and spent 17 days in the
And 17 months of speech therapy. This directed him towards the helping professions and he found social work. Uh, his specialty areas in private practice are of course, mental health, trauma, PTSD and traumatic brain injuries. Daniel, thanks so much for being here with me today.
Daniel: Thanks, Josh. I appreciate the space to kind of share my story with your listeners.
Josh: Yeah. Sounds like it’s been quite a journey.
Daniel: Yeah. It’s been, it’s been a long one. And, you know, when, as most people kind of look back on those life changing moments, probably not want to change it either. No, you know, even though, even though it was rough, right. Right. Right.
Josh: Hard to say that in the moment, right.
You know, in hindsight, looking back, it’s a little bit easier to say. That was really formative. There was a lot happening there. Yeah. So, you know, I just, I wanna give you space to kind of share that story, whatever you feel mm-hmm. You know, you’re comfortable with, with our listeners, uh, hearing and, and you know, particular how it shaped you and, and your interest in being a mental health professional.
Daniel: Yeah, for sure. I’ll give a, I’ll give a kind of a brief overview of the accident and then some of the injuries in that recovery process and then kinda get into mindset and. Um, both in recovery as well as, you know, now as a mental health professional, right? And kind of working in this space and how that kind of sustains us.
So, um, yeah. So as you mentioned, July 2009, I was in a car accident. Um, it was just a single, single role, single car accident rollover. Um, so no other people were involved. Um, besides myself, I was a passenger and then it was actually my. My childhood next door neighbor was the driver. Um, and, you know, also giving.
Giving him a shout out because if it wasn’t for him and finding our cell phones and calling EMS and, and also his mom who was a nurse or is a nurse, um, and told them that if I had a brain injury, um, that taking me to a small, smaller, like lower level trauma hospital probably wouldn’t help right away and that I would need to go to a larger hospital and that’s what they did.
Probably saved my life. So big shout out to them. Um, then needed to have brain surgery. So it has subdermal hematoma, which essentially is a brain bleed underneath the skull. And then I had a stroke of my left prefrontal lobe, fractured skull and, uh, collapsed lung. So yeah, I spent 10. 10 days in the ICU, 17, or I’m sorry, seven days in an inpatient rehab.
And then after that three months of physical therapy and then 17 months of speech therapy. So it’s been a. Along a long road and even today I was just, or not today, but yesterday I was underneath my desk at work and you still have to be very careful of not hitting my head or something because you’re a little, little more prone to concussions after something like that.
So, um, having that awareness is crucial.
Josh: Wow. Wow. Even, even 13, 14 years after. So gotta be careful like that.
Daniel: Yeah, I would say that my tolerance has grown quite a bit, you know, before it was even if I bump my head on a cupboard door that was open, I’d have a concussion and now, you know, I’m able to wrestle with my children and, you know, they can’t, we can bump heads and I’m okay, but I could, I definitely can’t do that repeatedly.
Right.
Josh: Do you feel like people are just really cautious around you and trying to be ultra sensitive to that?
Daniel: Um, I think people who understand we have, we have little ones that don’t have that capacity yet. So, um, and then, you know, speaking of in recovery, right, for anyone that’s in recovery from a TBI, typically.
You have to alter your lifestyles, right? So can’t go snowboarding on the mountains anymore, or, you know, playing pickup games in the, in the, in the park of basket for basketball or football. So, but you find other ways to live out your values and. And there’s a lot of grace and a lot of acceptance that comes through that process, or it can be forced upon you to.
Josh: Sure. Well, and I, I’m just imagining, you know, just the internal work that, that you had to, to do in order to come to an acceptance of some of those things.
Daniel: Yeah, it took a lot of time. I fought with it because I wanted to be who I was. And I also want it didn’t want to be where I was. Right. Especially going into so, so that summer, July 2009, I was entering my senior year of high school, uh, at that time.
So the first thing the doctors told me when I, when they took me out of the, coma was probably not going to graduate high school with your, your cohort. Right. But you started with, and I told him I would, and I did, and, you know, I think, I think we all have, if we’re in the mental health space or, you know, even outside of this space, like we all have those pivotal moments, whether it’s, you know, intense, like a TBI recovery or life decisions, right.
Where we can make those, make those maybe stubborn decisions, right. And just kind of say, I’m going to do this.
Josh: Yeah, you know, there’s kind of a difference between being, um, strong willed and strong willing. Mm hmm. A reframe that we, um, arrived at when, when one of my children was younger, um, because we, we have very determined.
Children and we didn’t we didn’t like that idea of strong willed and how that, you know, just kind of put some negativity on things and so we had to reframe it as strong willing because there’s kind of like light and dark, you know, to both of those. And so,
Daniel: right, right. I mean, me even looking at like.
Stubbornness or grit or, you know, because those, those qualities also tie into a very individualistic culture, right? And I think sometimes we need to be an individual. Because nobody else is gonna essentially do our recovery process for us, right? But we also need a support system to encourage us, to keep us motivated, to just be there when, you know, stuff falls apart.
Josh: So did you find that, um, your support network was, was trying to discourage you from pressing on with, with so much, uh, You know, I don’t know if aggression would be the right word or not,
Daniel: but yeah, tenacity. I think they were cautious because they didn’t want to see me take on too much. Right. And have it kind of.
implode or have me implode, right? Um, overwhelmed and yeah, and, and just, you know, the kind of the, some of the hallmarks of TBI is right. Like difficulty with sleep, impulsivity, irritability, aggression, um, hypersensitivity to noises and stimuli. I mean, all those things I went through and my support system also took the brunt of that, right?
Because they were there.
Josh: You know, right there on the receiving end of all of that frustration
Daniel: and exactly then the guilt and you know shame that comes with that as well because they’re just showing love and caring but when your brain is at that level it’s hard to you don’t those mental filters are either gone or severely impaired.
Josh: And so as you were working through all of that, you said that that’s part of what led you to want to be in the, the helping profession. Talk a little bit about that and just how, how your own experience shaped that, you know, that
Daniel: career decision. I definitely had a team of, uh, You know, the, the medical team at the hospital, right, that was there through everything.
And then the nursing staff on, on the inpatient unit, um, the physical therapist, the massage therapist, that even if he had a 15 minute break in his schedule, he would come in and help loosen up my neck, uh, and the muscles around that region. Um, and a lot of it. Was tied to my speech therapist. So I had an incredible speech therapist and I was in the ICU.
And then I can’t remember if she left the hospital or if that she was just more tied to the ICU. I just don’t remember those details. Um, and then I had another speech therapist. Um, That stuck with me for 17 months. Right. And it was kind of like my, my therapist, my, my like mental health therapist, as well as my speech therapist.
Right. Um, I mean, I would see, I would spend. You know, an hour with her two to three times a week for 17 months. And that, that was where I was like, okay, I know I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I know I’m going to land somewhere in here. I don’t know where yet. Right. And then my sister in Wisconsin is actually, is actually a social worker.
Really? Yeah. And then she was like, check out this profession. So I did. And I was like, okay, that seems pretty cool. So, you know, signed up for the program, was accepted. And I was like, holy man, like people like going through going through these recovery phases from community mental health or inpatient psychiatric hospitalizations or whatever, whatever forms of recovery look like right like they all have their story.
And now, like, I have a story that isn’t exactly the same as them but it’s something I need to work on right so then there’s compassion that empathy, you know that person centered connection. Yeah. That’s so crucial inside the mental health arena. And then from that, I graduated with my undergrad in social work, worked for a year and a half or so.
And I kind of was like, where do I go with this bachelor’s degree? Right. And then I was like, okay. I need, I really need a master’s to do what I need to do, um, to work in, you know, medical or inpatient psych hospitals as a, as a licensed clinical social worker. And then also, you know, if I want to go private practice like that opens a lot more doors.
So then 2016, I entered, um, grad school or I applied for grad school the following year or the previous year, excuse me, at the University of Denver here. So, okay. Yeah, that’s been kind of kind of the journey.
Josh: That’s exciting. Yeah. So let’s talk just a little bit about mindset because you mentioned how, um, you know, the challenges and having to have that tenacity.
I love that word. Um, to get through that. How do you feel like your mindset? Uh, like, how do you feel like you grew in your mindset? As you were trying to overcome those challenges and, and, and really what I’m, I’m curious how you feel like that’s impacted your therapy that you provide and, and, you know, helping your, your clients to, to adopt a mindset that works for them as well.
Daniel: Yeah, it’s a big question. So, I think that
for what it’s worth, I grew up in a very rural area of Wisconsin so it’s very like kind of. Take care of yourself right and that has good and bad associated with it. Um, definitely in the farming communities, right? And I grew up playing sports, um, through my sophomore year of high school. So, so I think some of that stuff started like forging some of that mentality, right?
And then when I was in the The ICU, um, like the doctors didn’t know if I was going to have to relearn how to talk again, just because of the area that I, I heard in my brain or injured, um, was the left temporal lobe. And that’s a huge language center for both auditory and, um, expressatory speech, um, or verbal speech.
So there was that kind of question mark. Right. And then. They’re like, we don’t know if you’re going to have to relearn how to walk either really. So I remember the first time I walked, it was, I was pushing, I was pushing a wheelchair for, for like almost like support. Right. And then I had two or three nurses around me with a gate belt on.
Right. And, you know, going from a 17 year old, that’s pretty high functioning, independent. To going to like not being able to do some of these things or wanting to take a shower, but needing needing a hospital staff to stand with you really like it’s humbling. It’s also really invasive, right? And then there was one moment, I was in the inpatient rehab unit where every time I need to use the restroom, I had to call for the nurse and call from the nurse and It took a minute to come, which they’re busy, like nothing against them.
And I was just like, I need to figure out like how to do this. Right. And I just had this, like, I don’t know what it was like, just like nervous system, like sensation. And I just put my fist down on the bed. Cause I was sitting on the edge of the bed and I just pushed myself up myself. And that was kind of like where it’s like, okay, nobody’s going to be doing this right.
They’re here to support you, but they can’t force you to do or to push or to, you know, one of the hall again, hallmarks of, um, TBI is which I forgot to mention is fatigue, right? So I would do an hour of physical therapy and I need to take a 34 hour nap. Wow. And like, I could argue and say, no, I need to go to sleep.
Right. Or I could also push because nobody else is going to do that internal work. Yeah. And that is something then that really comes into therapy that I’m providing. Right. Like not saying I have to, I’m pushing, right. Everyone. But I also like know that I can give them skills. I can give them tools. Right.
And you have to be in the right spot to take recovery and run with it. Nobody’s going to run with it for you. Yeah.
Josh: And so in those moments where you felt like, I don’t know, if you felt like you, uh, should give up or if that was ever an option for you.
Daniel: I don’t know if giving up was an option, but there were definitely moments where I was like, I can’t do this. Like we’re, we’re hitting that red line. Yeah. You know, the insomnia at night, like I w I knew because of how fast my thoughts were going. And I don’t know why it was. It wasn’t paranoia as I was falling asleep, but I don’t know what it was about going to sleep at night.
I could fall asleep in the middle of the day within 20 30 minutes, right? But like, when it came to nighttime, I knew if I wanted to go to bed at 10, I’d have to lay down at 8. You know, just tossing, turning, crying because I couldn’t fall asleep. And then also like realizing now, like I do a lot of acceptance and commitment therapy.
And it’s like, the more you want something, the less you have it. Right. Right. So, so that, so that I’m like, well, looking back, I was like, Oh, I just needed to relax a little bit. Right. But in the moment, I’m just, you just amp yourself up.
Josh: You can’t just tell yourself to relax. Yeah. Yeah. So did you learn how to work through those things or did it just kind of happen because you said, I can’t keep carrying on like this, like, were you trained in some of these skills?
Were there people helping you? How did, how did all that play out for you?
Daniel: Yeah. I think all, all are valid answers. So melatonin really helped me for sleep. Um, working with a therapist myself helped. Release some of that bottled up energy that was stored, right? Whether it be guilt, shame, anger, right?
Whatever it might be. And then also as I, as, as some of my physical capabilities slowly started coming back, I was able to start working out again. And that was a big outlet, right? And not only that, but I was working out with the person that I was in the car accident with. Oh, wow. Cause I, him and I still talk on the anniversaries every year, you know, we, we message each other.
Um, I, I messaged my speech therapist too, that helped me a lot. Um, so, so I think, I think having that connection and having that outlet and, or those various outlets, right. Hope kind of. Release some of that buildup where I was okay, able to fall asleep. And now, excuse me now, to this day, it’s not really a challenge unless there’s like high levels of stress.
Josh: Yeah. So when it comes to your recovery, what, what would you say was most
difficult for you?
Daniel: I think the identity shifts and the grief and loss that accompany that. So, you know, going into senior year of high school, you want to hang out with friends, you want to go to bonfires or, you know, late night parties and I’m in bed by 730, right? And then waking up and going to school Monday and you hear all these stories.
Or not being able to work. So when I was in the accident, I was working a part time job, but I couldn’t do that anymore. Right. I didn’t have the stamina, the physical stamina, the mental stamina to, to hold that, um, also realizing that like when I was in the accident, I was. So my school again, the support system was totally amazing for in terms of a high school and how they kind of supported me and they’re like, if you need to go part time, half time, whatever, right?
So I literally graduated with the bare minimum. Because I went my first semester out of the accident that fall, I did only two half days and we were on the block schedule at my high school. So it was literally two classes a day, but I would come home and take a two or three hour nap or hour nap, depending on what my body needed.
And then the second semester I was able to do a full day and a half day. So, you know, slowly building up that tolerance. But that’s also hard, right? Like, your friends are at school, you want to be with them. You want to be in the gym, or doing what they’re doing, and you can’t. Right. Yeah.
Josh: Well, and at a time, at a time in, in, I mean, most teenagers at that age are wanting greater levels of independence and it just dramatically shifted to greater levels of dependence where you’re having to Yeah, Recognize your limitations
Daniel: and no, you’re not invincible as well as adolescents and teenagers feel like they are sometimes.
Yeah.
Josh: Yeah. That identity shift makes sense.
Daniel: Yeah. I mean, going from need, you know, not having anyone watching you to, you know, in the hospital I mentioned, but then also like my family would rotate weeks or two week chunks off to be at home with me. Wow. Just in case I would seize or needed help. And then also because of the severity of my accident, the, they took my license so I couldn’t drive anymore.
Right. And it’s a huge freedom thing for a lot of teenagers, right?
Josh: Yeah. To have that and then get it taken away.
Daniel: Yeah. So I had to retake the drive, this physical driver’s test, not the, not the classes. Like three or four months after the accident because they just needed to monitor me. So yeah.
Josh: Wow So I’m kind of curious if if you experience any lingering effects day to day
Daniel: Yeah, I, I mean, outside of like, I’m always very aware of my head, right?
I don’t think that will, that hyper awareness will go anywhere. It’s not hyper vigilance, but it’s just like knowing what’s around. Um, in terms of lasting impacts, I will say sometimes I notice my cognition or my cognitive abilities do, do tend to drop in terms of,
my cognitive abilities drop. If I go at least like two or three days with this, like two or three hours of sleep. Right. So like if a family member is sick or something like that, we need to be there. Right. Little kids get sick and they’re very needy. Right. Or they’re puking on rugs or the floor or whatever it is.
And you know, those times, if, if you get two or three days of those like consistent, I can notice, like, I feel a little foggy. Right. But then I can, but then I can take a rest or take a nap and, you know, that shift comes back.
Josh: Yeah. Yeah. So it sounds like there’s, there’s just some mental fatigue that kind of accompanies that physical fatigue.
Daniel: Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s something I just got to deal with. I can’t, I can’t get rid of it just cause I don’t want it. So I just really tried to ensure that I get adequate amounts of sleep and kind of stay regulated in terms of lifestyle and balanced in terms of, you know, for treatment. Especially when it comes to like mental health therapy, it’s not always just mental health therapy, it’s like, if your sleep cycle’s off, like, that’s a huge component, right?
Oh, sure. If your diet and nutrition’s off, like, that’s a huge component, right? If you’re not having some level of physical activity, like, that’s a huge component, right? Yeah. So, so looking at it from a holistic perspective, right, and that’s what, that’s what we need to, we should bring to therapy as well.
Not just this lens. Yeah.
Josh: I’m so glad you said that because I mean, I mean, I, I don’t prescribe sleep, but that’s one of the questions that I ask during my intake is how much sleep do you get? Because I know how I feel when I’m bed arrested and I know the impact that that has on my family. Right. I’ve got teen daughters who will ask me.
You know, if I need to take a nap sometimes because I’m maybe being a grouch or something like that, you know, over time, if we’re not taking care of our bodies, obviously that’s going to affect things. Um, I’ve got a guest coming on, um, later this month, who’s going to talk about nutrition and things like that as it pertains to mental health.
So yeah, definitely related to all of that. And, and obviously you, you have, you have a perspective that’s, that’s grounded in experience to that. As you work with people who, you know, have experienced, um, traumatic brain injury and things like that. So speak to that a little bit when it comes to how your experience shapes the therapy that you provide.
Um, obviously you’ve got some very unique, um, you know, perspectives and experiences to bring into that. How do you find that showing up for you?
Daniel: Good question. I, Typically don’t self disclose my, even though it’s on my website, not everyone reads the website, right? Yeah. Uh, and not everyone listens to the podcast episodes either, right? Um, so I don’t disclose that I have a TBI. Um, I’ll obviously know pretty quickly because the client will self disclose if they have one.
You know, usually in the first session or two. Yeah.
I only bring, I only bring it up directly if there needs to be a space created to like, hold hope that things can change. Is that what you said? Hold hope, yeah. For things that can shift and get better down the road, right? And again, every, every person, every TBI is unique and not everyone will. Yeah. But can we, can we shift, can we shift things in, in that person’s life just one to two degrees?
It doesn’t have to be 180 degrees. Or 360 degrees, but even one or two, right. And we can look at and identify people’s value systems and really pursue those values. Despite, you know, I’ve seen people that are huge into physical fitness, but they’re, but they, they can’t walk, right. But they still go to the gym, they still work out and they still socialize in the gym, right.
So it’s finding those. Sometimes very, very small, minute things that we can do to pursue those values, if it’s like self growth and a learner, right, a lifelong learner, it’s like, how can you find ways to, to read a book if you can’t turn the pages, right? Um Maybe it’s shifting to audio books, right?
Whatever it might be like those, those are, those are kind of just examples that are coming to me. Right. Um, so finding, I think those, those avenues is a lot of what we do in therapy. And then also if there’s guilt, shame, you know, especially inappropriate levels, then we can target some of those things with EMDR and.
Yeah.
Josh: So I, I love that phrase, holding hope. And I’m curious what you notice in session that makes you realize this is difficult for them to hold hope. Like they’re, they’re losing, they’re slipping or, you know, however you want to term that. What, what do you see that makes you say, okay, this person’s really needing something to cling to right now.
Daniel: That’s a good question. Cause I don’t know if it’s, if it’s always something you can see. Okay. But it’s more of like. What is your co regulation in your nervous system picking up on?
Josh: What is yours as the therapist? Yeah. Tell me about that.
Daniel: Coming from, like, what do you feel from their nervous system, right?
Because we, we co regulate one another. That’s a lot of what therapy is, right? And that’s why sometimes people just sitting with a person when you’re having an anxiety attack can help calm them down. Yeah. You don’t have to talk. Right. Your nervous systems. I think, and I think that’s one of the areas like our brain and our nervous systems, right?
Are some of the areas that we still don’t really understand in our bodies. I mean, what’s the example I’m trying to think of? Yeah.
Josh: So, so I was doing a training with the Gottman Institute recently. They were talking about, um, it wasn’t Gottman, it was the emotion focused therapy. And the video was of a woman going in for an MRI and they had some electrodes connected and they were measuring her brain activity.
And she was nervous and scared and, you know, The, the diagram was lighting up, you know, and all the centers that indicated that. And then they brought her husband in and he just stood there and talked with her or she could hear him. I don’t know if he was actually there, but, um, just hearing his voice soothed some of that.
Right. And so there was that connection that actually, you know, they were able to measure. You know, his presence affected her ability to self soothe and calm down and work
Daniel: through it. Yeah, yeah, and the example I was, I was kind of looking at it, or I think, trying to think of is like when we, you know, what is our orientation response, right, when we see stress?
Or perceive stress or a threat, like our nervous system is picking up on that before we cognitively think about it. And, and that’s where that attunement comes in, right? Is that felt sense of that person’s. nervous system is either hyper or hypo aroused, right? And how do I regulate that? So, so depending on where they’re at, I may disclose, right?
But that also leaves opportunity. Maybe I won’t disclose right away, right? Maybe I’ll work on skill building first. I mean, EMDR, I mean, all of phase two of EMDR is, you know, self regulation skills or regulating your nervous system. So, so I think those skills are very important to teach, right? But that therapeutic relationship, that attunement to your client is also a huge intervention that I think sometimes therapists may lose sight of.
Josh: I think sometimes those, those little micro skills that we don’t think of just become such a part of, of our presence and how we are in the room. There’s, it’s like, it’s working without us knowing that it’s working, which is great because it means that we’ve, we’ve kind of settled into a, A sweet spot, you know, it’s like muscle memory that just happens when you’re not in therapy and you start using those skills, you know, and people know you’re a therapist, they’re like, you’re doing it, you’re doing the therapy thing, right?
Right. And I think that’s a good thing. And that’s something that I’ve tried to help my family to realize is that this is, this has become wired in. Right. This is, yeah, it’s kind of a default
Daniel: now in our society and our society does not teach a lot of it. It does not teach emotional intelligence, does not teach those regulation skills.
And a, you know, that can be great for therapists because that’s where we come in. Right. But be how many, you know, I don’t want to say altercations isn’t the right word, but how many interpersonal challenges or work work challenges could also not even occur if people could stay regulated. Right or road rage or whatever it might be.
So, So yeah, so I, I think, I think there’s like that societal impact too of you never know who you’re, who you’re going to impact through the skills that you’ve taught this client, right? Um, and that’s something one of my supervisors, because I lived, I finished my undergrad at Boise State, um, and then one of my supervisors out there, um, while I was working before I started grad school, um, she, She asked me a question in supervision about, like, our, how many, like, do you know Helen Keller and I was like, yeah, I’ve heard of her, right?
Like, who hasn’t really? It’s like, well, how many people know of, like, who her teacher was, right? But, but her teacher started that whole process, right? And it’s like, we lose sight of like, like those initial beginnings and we can have, you know, huge life, life changing impacts on clients. Right. Well, we never know what those clients then go into, right.
Who they touch or if they become a therapist themselves, 15, 20 years later.
Josh: So sure. And that, you know, that was your experience is, you know, because of the, um, the treatment that you received and how meaningful it was for you. Here you are now writing yourself and, you know, there may be somebody else that has a TBI who, you know, received therapy from, from Daniel and is like, man, I really want to, I want, I want to do that.
And so, you know, 10 years from now, they may be on my podcast sharing about
Daniel: that would be wild.
Josh: That would be awesome. Yeah, we can, we can see if we can make that happen somehow. So, uh, do you ever get triggered? In therapy, when you’re talking with people who, who have, uh, traumatic brain injuries of their own,
Daniel: I wouldn’t say triggered is the right word. I would say sometimes certain, certain cues of the story will resonate with me, certain aspects, right, and that’s, you know, also why we need, we as therapists need to take care of ourselves, right, because that vicarious trauma is real. And even if we’ve already dealt with it, it doesn’t mean like, just because we’ve dealt with our history, doesn’t mean that memories don’t come up.
Yeah, not not that it’s like negative or anything, but it still can be powerful, you know, so taking that space, you know, whatever that whatever that might look like or doing something. I think self care gets a gets a bad rap because it’s so repeated but really, really trying to find those things that that work for work for you so you can show up rejuvenated if it’s a mental health day from work if it’s.
You know, gardening, time alone in nature, whatever it might be. Like those things work for me, right? But what works for me might not work for everyone. Right.
Josh: And so how do you notice that that’s, that’s something that you need for yourself?
Daniel: I want, I pay attention to my nervous system. You know, if I, if I feel my nervous system shift, then I’m like, okay, make a note of that.
Josh: Yeah. What is that like for you? Like, I know that, that sounds like you’re really in touch with, with what’s happening, but what are you, what are you paying attention to that indicated that your nervous system is, is shifting?
Daniel: So maybe I have like a, an urge to move in my chair, right? Shift my body posture. Um, do I notice my body language going from open to close? Or, right, like, are you glancing at the clock more? Right? Like, okay, when’s this gonna be over? Like, I need to escape. I need to avoid this, right? Like, tapping into some of those, I mean, avoidance and escape are functional, right?
Sure. It worked well. That’s why we do them. Yeah. Typically in the short term, long term, not so much. So, so just paying attention to those, those cues when they arise and those shifts in your body is how I probably watch it.
Josh: And it sounds like you, you look at those things as feedback for yourself. There’s some, something that’s needed.
Yeah. Earlier you mentioned, you know, you said the word felt sense and I’m curious if you’ve ever heard of Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing. Okay. He talks about that, um, when we’re feeling stuck. Um, Focusing is a mindfulness strategy. Where if, if you’re struggling to figure out what it is that you’re stuck on, uh, he talks about paying attention to that felt sense within you, and that there’s, you know, for a lot of people there’s like a tightness in their chest or their.
their throat feels enclosed, or there’s like a weight on them, right? So they, they describe that, that feeling, and, and he calls that a felt sense, and, and when you start exploring that, and get curious about what that’s about. Mm hmm. Um, it opens up doors for your body to kind of communicate back to you, you know, what’s going on.
So when you get curious about it, what’s that about? And you start saying, well, is it about this? Is it about this? When you stumble on it, that, that felt sense will shift. And that’s that, uh, that aha moment, like, that’s what that’s about, right? And so it’s, it’s kind of neat how, how our body, it’s kind of like the check engine light that indicates there’s something going on under the hood.
Let’s pop that thing up and explore what’s going on. And it sounds like you’ve, you’ve learned how to attune to that.
Daniel: Yeah, and I think that also links back to what we just spoke about, right? Like, our society does not teach that awareness. Right. Right? It’s go, go, go, go, go. Like, what’s next? What’s next?
What’s next? But it’s like, how do I slow down? And then we have, you know, social media. We have all these, all these different things. I’m not like bashing social media. Sure. It has its purpose and its uses, but it’s also a huge avoidance or escape tool, right, so we don’t have to feel stuff.
Josh: I think that there’s, there’s a shift happening that I see in society when it comes to mental health in general.
I feel like, you know, the, the efforts to destigmatize it. Um, you know, social media has a huge impact on that, but, um, I’m kind of excited to see how maybe that that shift that I’m, I’m seeing, you know, creates this greater awareness of self and instead of Instead of blaming other people for being triggered, like, you triggered me, you’re responsible for not triggering me.
How, when people are, are triggered, to use that kind of buzz phrase, that’s a clue to them that there’s some, some work that needs to be done within them. Instead of just… Kind of passing that off on to other people to be responsible 100%. Yeah. Well, Daniel, this has been so much fun.
Daniel: Yeah, thank you for having me on.
Josh: Yeah. How can people get in touch with you? I don’t know. Do you offer telehealth or just in the area? If somebody did, what would that look like?
Daniel: Yeah, so I’m only licensed in the state of Colorado, so I can do virtual call. You know, throughout the state. Um, I do have in person sessions available on Saturdays and Sundays.
Um, I can do virtual on Saturdays and Sundays too, but, um, then I can also do coaching and stuff outside of outside the state and especially on that TBI piece. So, um, doing some family, some family coaching because it’s a. Again, it takes a village to to walk this path of recovery.
Josh: So, um, you know, and if there were other therapists who, you know, have similar backgrounds or who dealt with their own TBIs, would that be okay if they reached out to you to just Kind of pick your brain on what works for you.
Daniel: Yeah, for sure. 100% So my website, I think you’re going to put it in the show notes is just revitalizementalhealth. com Instagram is at revitalize underscore mental health and then we have a Facebook page and you can submit a form. On my website and usually 48 hours depending on the weekend or the holiday.
I’ll reach out.
Josh: Yeah. Awesome. Well, thanks so much Daniel I wish you the best and
Daniel: you so much Josh for the space to share